The Telling Environment

A telling environment is one in which any child who is bullied by another child or adult or who sees another child being bullied is urged to report the incident to designated personnel. Children who report such incidents are promised anonymity.  It is the responsibility of everyone in a telling environment to help stop the bullying.  There are no bystanders.  There is a designated staff person or administrator to report to, along with a comprehensive reporting routine that records all the details of the bullying incidents.  The promise of anonymity must be ironclad!!!  It is essential to establish what is legitimate telling (for behaviors that injure others or damage property) as distinct from tattling (for rule breaking that causes no injury to self or others and no damage to property), for example, “cutting into line”.  Traditionally tattling on someone is viewed as bad behavior, with the “rat” being a standard villain in school fiction.  To overcome this ingrained belief, the following rationale can be used in presenting the idea to children and parents. 

Children have rights, one of which is the right to feel safe in environments where they are supervised by adults paid to be responsible for their safety and well being.  Bullying is a violation of children’s rights.  Children who are bullied or who witness bullying incidents do not feel safe.  Consequently, they do not benefit from these environments nor do they enjoy them.  The “code of silence” was invented by bullies for their protection because it renders victims defenseless.  As long as other children continue to protect bullies by remaining silent, bullying will flourish.

Adapted from: Ross, D., Childhood Bullying and Teasing, American Counseling Association. 1996