Guidelines For Working With Parents About Bullying
1) Remember, the common ground that you have with any parent is that you both want what’s best for their child. Keep the focus there as much as possible.
2) Always err on the side of notifying a parent of their child’s involvement (as target or perpetrator) sooner rather than later. Start the phone call with,” I knew you’d want to know.” Notifying a parent for the first time after a third offense puts the school in a defensive position from the start.
3) Listen, listen, listen to the parents’ concerns first. Even if you called the meeting, once you have stated the reason for the meeting start listening to them. Very often parents of involved children (both targeted kids and students doing the bullying) bring with them long harbored feelings of distrust and anger toward school officials that are rooted in their own schooling experience. Hearing them out through this process often defuses some of their intensity and enables them to hear what the school has to say. It also lays the groundwork for the future of your relationship with them.
4) Keep in mind that this is a long term helping relationship. As such it may lead to directing them to seek help for themselves and/or their child outside of school. Have a resource list ready to give them should the opportunity present itself.
5) Make sure that you have copies of district policy and school rules against bullying and harassment to give them. Make sure they understand them.
6) Make clear what the consequences (in a case of bullying) are for their child. Also make clear what the consequences will be if it happens again. This helps with the next meeting so you don’t have to argue about the fairness of the consequence.
7) Always follow up a parent meeting with an e-mail or note summarizing the important points of the meeting, thanking them for their time, and assuring them of your continued willingness to work for what is best for their child.
8) Remember, the common ground that you have with any parent is that you both want what’s best for their child. Keep the focus there as much as possible.